Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am...
Top Notch Design We Bloody Do It
Bite my shiny metal ass. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. And when we woke up, we had these bodies. No, I’m Santa Claus! But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. Tell her she looks thin. I can explain. It’s very valuable. Guards! Bring me the forms.
Help & Support We’re here to Help
Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Now what? I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut.
Quality in Quantity Quality & Quantity
Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV. So I really am important? How I feel when.
Recent Projects
Me fail English? That’s unpossible. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules...
I’m a thing. I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians. This is the worst...
But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh,...
Newest Blog Posts
How to Win Your Audience’s Attention
Let’s say you’re driving down the freeway at 65mph and you see the roadside plastered with advertising posters on both sides. Some small, some large, all meant in some measure to cause you to remember...
The lesson is, never try.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. . And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a...
Standing our From the Crowd
Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort...
Son, a woman is like a beer.
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! I’ve...


